Recapping

Friday morning, slept till 10. missed out on the crappy ass sales. thank goodness.

Went out around 12 30 to go Self Edge & managed to completely waste time there just browsing

cause of my parents. Going back home we managed to agree to go to downtown, ON THE WAY BACK, so

we wasted some gas, but i guess it's alright since it's 1.77 a gallon now. Spent some time eating at home, 

then went out for downtown, walked around inside bloomingdales first and made my way up with my fam

up to the Vans store. Walking in to check out the shoes, i see Mitch from Supreme Soul, he was like

"I was looking at you, and i was like, i know that guy"

His girlfriend-"Hey!"

Me-"Hello, so what are you guys doing here?"

Mitch-"Just checking things out"

Me-"Gonna buy anything?"

Mitch-"Oh she is, but i'm good."

Me-"Did you line up at haight, & was it any good"

Mitch-" It was alright, there was nothing for me so it sucked, but there was a lot for her to choose from."

Me-" So you gonna buy anything here?"

Mitch-"Well there's a pair of Laney 5's i would like to buy to dance in, but i don't know."

Me-"Ha possibly, possibly."

Mitch-"Well i got these babies."

me-"Psh supremes, i have these vans, can't stop wearing em man."

Mitch-"Well see ya dude, i think we're heading out."

Me-"Alright see ya Mitch, still remember my name though?"

Mitch-"umm.." Me-" Starts with a K, 4 letters."

Mitch-"Kevv! uhhh."

Me-"Karl yo."

Mitch-" Well she said that dude *points to his girlfriend*"

Me-" haha, well remember that now, cause most likely i'll be seeing you at another dunkxchange again."

Mitch-"Ha, forsure. See ya dude."

& his girlfriend said Bye. After that walked outside of bloomingdales & to forever 21, finding nothing

then moving on to Urban Outfitters, buying myself a purple fleece jacket for $20! & a blazer.

After all that commotion and drinking Jamba Juice. My parents dropped me off at Joash's.

Then there i spent like frickin how many hours first learning Texas Hold 'Em & playing it for the 

rest of the night with my friends. I was ballin in chips! In the end Joash came in for Brian P. It was crazy cause

he knew how to play & that the 2nd to the last round, he stole all my red chips & my black chips. So Joash wanted to

get the game over, my cards, an 8 & a 3 or a 5, either way crappy cards yo. First, burned card then a 8 showed up with a Queen & another number

then the other 2 cards were shown & got my self a double pair beating Joash and winning a 1921 original Sterling Silver Dollar Coin.

& with that Dollar Coin, i got 20 bucks for food today!

11/29/08

Woke up at 11, got ready for church, headed out for Hillside Church arriving around 12 ish.

Pretty chill day at church, i came at the end of the YAYO ( yet another youth organization) they were talking about

the Christmas party around the 13th at 6:00 PM & that morning when we're gonna be cooking, yes! So i guess Joshua

was asking everybody for what they wanted for Christmas, & found out what crocks were today! haha. He asked me what i

wanted, i put my feet up & i was like get me vans like this! He said he would get me a van xP. I sat next to 

Anna & Joyce & asked them about the kick it for that day after church. Then Joshua asked me what i really wanted,

the answer i gave him was Happiness , the reason why i buy my closest friends & the ones that made a small yet big impact

& i give it as a thank you gift. I like seeing everybody happy, so that's why i'm selling my shoes this year to get everybody a gift.

I don't expect anything back, it's gonna be Christmas & i know the value of giving rather then receiving, the past

years made me realize that value, and ever since last year, Christmas has been more of an impact for me, It's my favorite holiday.

I practiced shooting around with my camera again & got some good shots with my 50mm. After we ate some food & then 

we headed out. Stayed a bit trying to find a way to get to Haight today & it all ended up well. We all met up at Joyce's

around 4 ish. Jeff & I arrived early & played some Rockband, that game is so frickin awesome. Then everybody arrived,

we left & had fun in the car beeping at April & em. We arrived there around 5 when it got hella dark, so gay how sunset is around

4:58. There really wasnt anything at Haight but that Hoodie i wanted to get from AmericanApparel. Everything from True to Kid Robot

was really wack cause there was nothing that great or wasnt on sale. We left & decided to eat at Tanforan to find out that Aloha's 

was closed for good! No more Spam Masubi!! We found places to eat & got some coldstone after! Yummmz. Then we walked around.

I saw my friend Daphne today which was pretty chill, haven't seen her in a while so it was cool to see an old friend. Drew,Jeff,Jez,& I got

tired so we decided to sit at the foodcourt. Did nothing for a bit thinking how to get home & laughing about it. We were forced to leave when

the girls came back. So we went to the cars met up with April,Joyce,Anna, & Nina & we all went our separate ways, & i found myself at

Jez's & getting picked up at his house, & finding myself blogging about the past 2 days. 

This is my escape. I really hate how none of my friends are sympathetic about my problems

All i hear, is "Get over it" "It'll take time" "Stop acting that way", & shit like that etc etc.

Come on now seriously, like seriously. Put myself in my fucking position & find out how it feels like

how my current feelings are, my true feelings are, & put in the problem & the situation. Stop being 

a friend & giving advice, be a good friend & listen, you don't know how it feels, you may have been in 

a similar situation but it's never the same for each individual. If i could, & i would, somehow

rip my feelings out and spill them all out to you and you'll see what i'm really going through. 

edit yo.

true love endures. tell me if your gonna count me as your past, cause i'll move on, & really know it wasn't

really love, but just an infatuation. To bad i really have an extent to move on, cause i really do

truly love you, still.

The Truth

"My Turn. * throws pennies in the wishing well* You see those two cents? THOSE ARE MINE."

Thanksgiving was really overall great until it hit joyce's. I had a good time at the party we had today

hosted at my house. My mom's co-workers were pretty chill, but to bad i know true sides of

filipinos. They treat you nice if you have a high status & know you are rich of some sort, to bad my

family always gives off that impression. *oh and for fucking Damian, your a fucking judgmental

stereotypist.  Would like to see how the economy affects my family? The bills we havent payed,

the credit cards that are full, our empty wallets? What else would you like to fucking see Damian

so i can prove you wrong. Your a dick, if i were to stereotype you from regular average people, i would

assume you were gay, you know why? Gay people are usually buff, laugh weird, & wear tight pants.

You see how weak that assumption is? A lot of people are buff but not gay, everyone laugh is different ( so it's 

considered weird), & a lot of guys wear tight pants & are not gay but it's a fashion statement. You

shouldn't judge you dipshit. To get back to the regular subject. I met this chick, Jessica. She was pretty cool

and we talked a bit & realized we were both at dunkxchange but didn't meet each other there but see each other.

How quaint, what a small world. She took pictures of me for the pictures Angela & I are going to post xP.

During the party, my mom's coworker's husband, Steve, the first fucking openminded filipino besides my parents

was a chill ass guy to talk to, he was worried about his kids, he just wanted to let them know that he's there

for them and tell them they can have a fun time but wants them to be successful in life and not to abuse it. 

Sadly his kids are addicted to video games, and i told him it's just a stage & they'll grow out of it. We also talked

about how filipino's usually bring up the old-fashioned tradition to be just like them, he was like, there's no

point in doing that because the world's change. so true. Why can't parents be open-minded as his? I contrasted to

my friend's parents & he was like, it seems your not very fond about filipinos. FUCK YEA I DONT. 

The party ended and everyone left, said our goodbyes & got invited to a Christmas Party, hopefully it'll be fun

and keep my mind off shii. My Dad dropped me off at Andrew's house, arriving there it was awkward saying hi to everyone

and Happy Thanksgiving, but oh well, i think it was effective. April then stopped by her place & we strolled along the way 

to Joyce's house, OMG ROCKBAND IS SO FUN! i swear i own at that game if i had a better a guitar. I got high off pie with

Drew & Jeff, & laughed it out with those 2 & Nina. Pretty fun, until i check my myspace & everything like that. Brought me down

a bit, then Deaj texted Nina, about 30 minutes after the mixed thoughts, i called Deaj, hearing that voice. I really didn't think it was

awkward, how you kept saying it was awkward & holding back made it awkward. I've been wanting to talk to you on the phone

since forever. The conversation didn't last, so we played video games like crazy while i was talking to Nina about it. Seeing how

April was not talking i knew something was up, so i told Nina to tell her about it. Once they left, i was playing Rockband with Jez

and i felt a vibration but didn't know what it was, so i was looking for my phone, and it was in my pocket after i was done looking. HA.

Called Deaj up again & sat at the same place on the 24th of December at Joyce's house, before watching National Treasure & Walk Hard.

Good times huh? 

Left Joyce's as the last ones, dropped off Andrew & me and my dad talked about what we're gonna do for Black Friday, sounds like fun

and i can't wait to line up. Called Deaj up again, she was sleepy so i let her sleep as usual. She's been getting mixed opinions & doesn't know what 

to think, she just wants the truth. Trust me, i know how it feels, to here something so optimistic, but then have somebody

smash those thoughts with a pessimistic "truth", you don't know what to think & get confused, start doubting, just wanting to know

answers. I was talking to Janelle about this last night, how our relationship with this love matter. I honestly do truly love you with all my heart, still.

I'm up for this wait, it's God's plan. I'm waiting because i love you, & you do the same, & you know everything will be alright. Don't let anybody

else change your mind.

I'll post up pictures once i upload them later on today after the shopping.

"Thanksgiving Eve"

"And my hands slip away, like leaves in this fearless wind. 

Not knowing where to go, but simply wait for their destination."

I was thinking about that quote i made up there this whole day. I've been getting

different advices, ideas, etc on my current situation. Optimism or Pessimism is

obviously the battle right now.

& a FYI, i'm sorry if forgot your name, they didn't stick in my mind because i was unable to think today..

i apologize.

To recap on today, i took the train all the way to mountain view and met up with Larry & Fernando 

to drive me to Sushi85. PRETTY DAMN ASS GOOD SUSHI. The best ever OMG! well imma stop

having orgasmic memories over sushi. So gay that i took like sips of smirnoff & jarritos mixed together,

so nasty dude, Daniel why didn't you say anything man!? 

Heading out we all went to Great Mall to meet up with Michelle & some MHS kids. I found myself

in the trunk in Javi's car. It was pretty chill, i actually slept, so i know how it feels to get kidnapped

& be put back into someone's trunk now, i wonder what they complain about anyway...

So once arriving at Great Mall, i had to take a really long ass piss. All the water from flushing down

the sushi & aftertaste of smirnoff got me that moment. We strolled around, doing nothing & just talking.

I found myself talking to Nathan about the situation with Deaj, It mixed with what i was thinking already.

Threw me off for the rest of the time until we met up with Michelle & her friends. I'm horrible with names & all i remember

is Angelica, Matt, & Ashley, i remember the other 2 were Chris...something. HA! Pretty chill people. So once Daniel, Hiro, & Aram

left, i decided to chill with Michelle & em. I talked to Michelle about it while we were walking. Helped me out

by listening to me vent. We walked to the foodcourt & sat down & met up with 3 guys that i saw going home on the VTA.

What a coincidence. Anyway, we just chilled & Matt & them decided to draw random pictures, ohmy at the penises.

Matt then like helped me calm down about it after lecturing me a bit of his past relationship. OH & congrats Celeste on

getting that job! Jonathan & Daniel then came, then the part for me to go home became complicated since

they wanted me to watch a movie with them, but i rejected the offer. sorry guys, thanksgiving with my

family was more important in my mind. Ashley came out of no where and met her. We decided to walk around again

and it seemed like a long ass walk, & i guess Michelle & em tried cheering me up or talking to me or something like

that, greatly appreciate it you guys, i know it seemed like i wasn't interested or in the mood, i was just

bleh at the moment, it helped a lot though. I got really tired all of sudden & i told em i wanted to

just sit down & we did, we chilled and talked about whatever yano. I wasn't really myself today,

i apologize about it, & Matt just told me it was normal, & i guess it is. After all the fun getting that bear beanie

& talking about my shii & to random shii everyone slowly began to leave. Once Ashley, Michelle, & Matt left, last

minute decision to take VTA home, first time to take it by myself & i made it to Mtn View without any messups!

Now i'm at home blogging about this.

I really seem to have some good friends & the people i met today were really caring &

chill, hard to come by people like that. So the whole hour & 30 minute ride home, i realized

that i'm being affected so much. I bring my camera everywhere & can't seem to get a good shot anymore

for some apparent reason. I find myself fidgeting a lot & unable to think clearly. I guess i'm done.

Help me yea? please...i'm losing it...

plus i'm a guy i'm not suppose to be built for these emotional breakdowns. yano?

ADDED PART

That hurts, that really does. I'm keeping my mind open, my ears listening, my eyes seeing, my mouth closed, & my heart to God.

Hopefully i'll find somebody stress relieving & comforting again...

"God can you whisper in her ear, anytime when she's lying on her bed, can you tell her everything i said?"

To be continued

"& it was like God's presence came over & gave me the peace i needed"

So, I'm more open-minded now, thanks angela & tammy. it's not over, it's just to be continued.

i have faith, i trust you, trust you more than ever before. No need to be hurting anymore, i still have my best friend.

Just need to enjoy life, i'll flirt but never fall for anyone but you. & that means the sex too. (just to clarify)

i really can't help but tell you your the one. i really can't put my finger on it, God's blessed me with you, 

i think that's the reason. Hope everything gets better for the both of us, i really can't wait to call you mine again..

Patience is truly a virtue.

To recap on tonight. Sending that package to you was really, accomplishing. made me feel really good

but sad at the same time, then i spent some quality time with God strolling around my neighborhood,

just having him lead me around, & i came across this cat, really weird but it was following me, i called the number 

that was on the leash but no answer, coming back again to find where God wanted me to find, i find the cat not there anymore.

well i walked around my neighborhood, getting used to it (since i moved) and knowing my surroundings, what is

there to be afraid of & not to worry about, but through the time exploring i found myself across the park i was strangely looking for

it was full of life, as in people talking, dog's running around, kid's laughing and playing with each other. it made me

realize that there's more to life & that we should come to him as curious as a little child. To learn to forgive each other,

not to judge but comfort each other & get to know each other. i kinda felt that's what God was telling me today.

After coming home i was talking to Drew about kicking it, we got Jeffery to go over Drew's, but Drew didn't want to go

because he wanted a haircut, but i convinced him to go, YOU ASS! It was really getting complicated but we figured 

everything out, we're to go & to meet. so we decided to meet at jez's, surprisingly i had them wait for almost 2 hours

so i can download software 2.2 for my iphone! ha! but once i was done, i met up with them got going to tanforan, & decided

to eat before watching the movie which was 8:15, very good decision. to bad all of us felt like we needed to take a shii after.

We finished up & watched the movie, it was fucking empty! until 5 minutes later at least less then 10 people came in to fill 

up the theater, pretty hilarious though, some good movies are coming out too! Quantum of Solace was pretty chill

the whole point of the story was that don't be so impulsive & have your anger take you over. We can all learn a lesson from that yea?

After we decided to go to In&Out and eat, just like the good old times when chilling with Kevin, Nina & Deaj just add me & Drew in

& put us in the city with not as chill music as mine. ha. 

I got home & talked over some stuff with Deaj. like i said, i trust her, i promised her, and i'm willing to wait. 

like i said, i cant help but just feel like your the one.

I'm more reassured, & i have my best friend back. 

It's not over, it's just to be continued.

If it's God's will, & i have a feeling he's telling me it is.

& a shout out to those who i tried finding comfort with. you helped for the time being, but you guys still helped me out

& im greatly thankful for your help.

Goodnight, this thanksgiving break only just begun.

Day After

I'm looking around my room, everything that seemed to have a meaning

mysteriously disappeared and I'm left with nothing but memories.

many things are running through my mind right now.

& i don't know how to deal with them

praying seems not to help

where's that best friend of mine when i need them at my lowest point?

can we just rewind back, i can't cope with this. seriously

why won't anyone help me...

Outta My System- Bow Wow ft. T Pain

This weekend.

SHIT was TIGHT