Saturday, December 6, 2008

6 of 19 w/ a side dish of tagged

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you. Or do I? I don't know? Are you interesting? Would I want to know you better?

1. I get really paranoid. When it comes to worrying about something, i stay open minded about it in a pessimistic way i think of all the bad things that can happen
that i frighten myself.
2. I'm down right determined. I have set goals in my mind that i dream to accomplish, depending on what i'm determined to do, i usually accomplish that goal
eventually.
3. I really have a thing for girls with berets. It's just a turn on
4. I always want reassurance. It's something i need to have before i do something, so i know that if i go through with it, i won't end up a failure. In a wide range of things it can come from liking a girl (knowing she likes me back) to a question on an assignment (as in a math problem, knowing im doing the right steps).
5. I want to get taller. Being short sucks, i havent had a growth spurt yet, so it's sign that i'll be tall! possibly...
6. I tend to be apologetic. I hate being stuck in drama, having people hate me, hold grudges, i just want to be cool with everyone, even if it's impossible but i try it anyway. 
7. I'm the jealous type. I want you all to myself kinda thing
8. I have a thing for being outgoing around people i'm closest too. When it comes to my friends i'm random yo. If you give me that hint of "I'm a good friend of yours" i'll open up. Give me that hint of trust.
9. I like to go and take a drive. If i had a car i'd be out right now exploring around where i live, or chilling with friends that can drive and we'll explore around the city or something like that & just have a fun time.
10. I keep my promises. When i promise something, i keep it, no matter how long the time period is. What i promise, you'll recieve later on, or i promised i wouldnt do or will always do, depending what it is. Give me a sign that the promise is useless anymore, most definitely i'll break it.
11. I hate tension. I hate being in a situation where everything get's awkward. The next time it happens, i try to break the tension and make it comforting for myself.
12. I'm starting to try and go to more youth organizations.  Celeste invited me to YFC and i'm gonna be heading there next friday, hopefully it'll be as good as she puts it. I'm excited yo, meeting new people!
13. I hate giving the wrong impression. When it comes to an impression, and it comes out the wrong way, i have to prove to the person it was a mistake and blah blah blah.
14. I love sushi.  I frickin want to eat at Sushi85, frickin deep fried california rolls for the win!
15. I hate being lonely. When it comes to things like banquet and i don't have a date, i don't participate. I always want somebody to chill with & somebody i can talk with.
16. I'm not perfect. Neither are you, Accept me as who i am. I'll change physically and i may gain some different habits later on, but i'm still the same me.

Yesterday was pretty chill, & so was the rest of the week. I'll put this all in a way where i can remember everything over a simple word
Monday-Ridiculous ( day after thanksgiving break)
Tuesday-Reunion (basketball)
Wednesday-Tiring (slept at 7 30)
Thursday-Heartbreaking (basketball)
Friday-Confusing/Accomplishing (talk with Greg & agreement with Damian)
So yesterday, i was talking with Greg, imma summarize this again
"Your still young, try and date as much girls as possible, and bang the ones that you think are special,
and if she is the one you guys will eventually be together again. Like i said your still young, you have a lot
more years ahead of you, try to branch out, your a social guy so it will be no problem."
I want you to myself but i want to let myself go.

"Everytime i try to leave, something keeps pulling me back
telling me that i need you in my life
that everything will be alright.
it was meant to be, you were meant for me
so it means we gotta to make it work"

Maybe you should, so it can get through your mind.
Nina is right, you are. i really want to oh so bad.
I don't want to be conceited but it's true.
The feelings were true, maybe yours weren't.
The train's here & loading
your call, & your choice before the departure.

"god determines who walks into your life. you decide who walks out and who you refuse to let go"

1 Heartbreak 

2 Eyes crying 

3 Words never said again 

4 Hands that won't be held 

5 Mornings I'll pass her in the halls 

6 Love notes, ripped & torn 

7 Days a week you'll think of her 

8 Sad songs a night before bed 

9 Wishes that never came true 

10 Years before she realizes you were the one


taken from Jose


Time to pull an all nighter & finish my projects so i can do shit tomorrow.

I abuse myself to much yo.

before i leave, i tag:
people who have a frickin blogspot that read mine but i don't read theirs.

Monday, December 1, 2008

1st of 19.

ohhh dang! 1st semester is almost over! & then 08 is almost over! fuck man im sick of what's been happening
lately, tragedy shii man. 09 is gonna be different & i'll make sure of it. Well since it was the first day of
school today after Thanksgiving Vacation, it was nice to be around all my friends again but it felt so
empty, I felt liked i belonged but didn't fit in. yanooo? Well Damian is a dick, he thinks he's funny when he's not
grow up now smart guy, i wish i can straight smash my fist right on your jaw. & Rebecca also! like wtf your hating on
me because i was taking a side of the new chick, Jenny? I am on her side, cause i don't just hate someone cause i 
get a "bad" vibe about them & not get to know them to solve out the tension, & your hating on me because it's true
think about it now. Damn it people. Start thinking. So after all the bullshit. I was hella tired from staying up till 4
in the morn doing nothing except fix my phone & downloading music & also cooking a cookie cake ha.
After school was pretty chill, basketball was fun, loved it yo. 
Now i'm hella tired, feening to play some Rockband, sucking at Halo now,
want to play some basketball, wanting to learn to play guitar & serenade someone, start on my projects,
get my lenses for my camera, etc etc.
Now i'm at home talking to people, & frickin Melinda ;). Made my day. ha

I can't help but feel this way.

edit.
one more thing! i'm surprised people read my blog. Thanks yo.

Cheers.

It's 12:30, and i have to wake up in 6 hours. Well imma talk about some things you wouldn't let me
talk about here. So i've been feeling pressured by friends to find somebody new to talk to. D.V. wants
me to frickin find a date so we can group date or something, but i don't know, like we said, when it comes to
another person, our minds somehow find it's way back on each other. & how at times we're just like Fuck you
and we either go to that person we have that attraction to, to get our minds of each other. I seriously can't
help but still get jealous about all of this, i don't tell you to stop but you keep talking knowing that i don't 
want to hear it but want to at the same time. Like your being fucked up but it's also my fault for being so curious. But i don't 
know, we're both different people, i like learning the truth,  & you assume it & don't want to hear it to protect
yourself from getting jealous. Seriously, what are your intentions for always talking about them? Do you
really like getting me jealous & pissing me off? It hurts, but you play it off so cool. Seriously, by talking
about me going to get mad at you in the nest 2 weeks, you did it. You caused it by your own doing. FUCK YOU. Why do you have to 
do that, i tried to be sympathetic and see if you really did, and if it was really worth my time. I can't just
help but think your trying to make this a game of jealousy. I don't want it to be like that, i really haven't been
trying to talk to anyone, i've been focusing on you because i can't break my promise. Why are you playing
games with my heart? But you contradict yourself, i'd be stupid to hook up with her, you'll be stupid to hook up with
him, it's not that same without you kinda thing. I really am being pulled two directions, i thought i'd learn the truth from you, your 
not even helping. I really doubt if it really was it. Show me it was & i'll stay to play this game your
setting up, but if it really wasn't, i was just wasting my time.

"God determines who walks into your life, but you determine who walks out and who you refuse to let go."

edit.
to bad i'm sooo attached to you that i'm willing to get hurt just for you..
no pain no gain. right?