Learning the Contrast, You Against.

"When God measures a man, he puts the tape around the heart instead of the head."

Wednesday. Half the Spirit, Half the Week

This is a blog talking to the person i haven't even met yet.

I'm staying on a friday, flat on the floor looking back on old love, or lack thereof

crushes have faded, all my wishful thinking is wrong, im jaded, & i hate it.

Searching all my days to find you, not sure who im looking for, i'll know it when i'll see you

till then i'll hide in my bedroom, staying up all night writing a love song for no one.

Coulda met you on a sandbox, maybe passed you by the sidewalk? or maybe i missed my chance & watched you walk away.

i'm so tired of being alone, so hurry up get here.

You'll be so good, You'll be so good for me.

Just for Keith

For the regular blog. Pictures from Monday & Today.

Oh before you read in between the lines excuse my cursing. All in the moment type madness, usually when im pissed

i'll feel guilty after, but this is different, so much different. & one more thing, i don't know who reads this or who

likes to talk about my blog in public, i'd just like to say this, i appreciate it, another reason for that e-fame.

Oh & this is for the whole general public, don't get butthurt cause it's not directed to you personally.

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So today went good, half of the day it seemed. Academically, it's on a good note, no more laziness due to the end of the semester coming up.

Social wise, Shit. Alright let's get this straight reader, want to know the reason why i chill outside of school more than chilling with the people

that you see on a regular basis? One reason is because i feel closest to those i'm farthest from.

2nd reason is cause of school, FUCK THEM, well okay, maybe im over exaggerating it. but fuck, seriously, dealing with school bullshit, alright, so seriously

i want to know the reason why you guys hate me. 

"You know Karl, that's one reason why people hate you." -Aunoa

Fine, i agree, alright so, i fucked up back in January with that whole incident with the bikes. Fine, i have all of this expensive shit that i use on a daily basis.

Fine, i'm trying to learn new things. Fine, i talk to cute girls. Fine, i dress nice even though i say it's crap. Fine, i act like a jerk when i'm around all of you.

Fine, my personality isnt at it's best when im around my friends. Fine, i say words that annoy the shit out of you, like yo & zayum.

& you know what's funny? I fucked up, but look, i have a very nice bike that everyone wants to ride on. My camera, it's a hobby, last years birthday gift,

i'm the school photographer, fine, want to destroy it, destroy your fucking yearbook, destroy something that i have a fucking passion for. I'm trying to learn how to dance & to learn more instruments, ohmy, all of a sudden i see you guys trying to do the shit i do. Oh and the girls? How many times do i have to say this, they may be cute, but some are not chill,personality over looks anyday,and i can never play, cause i'm no heartless faggot. & havent i stressed it enough that my low ass self esteem brings my confidence down trifold? But i ain't gonna lie, no one is fucking cute in our school, NO ONE. Sure i act like a jerk, can you guys tell the sarcasm in my voice, knowing me for your whole life you guys should already know my exact characteristics, & my personality also, i've known you fuckers for to long & you guys are beginning to annoy the shit out of me. & what can i say, i'm still a sophomore, ive grown out of it cause im the mature one, you idiots keep on hating. Not to brag, i'm the only sophisticated one. & for the last, it's weird how repetition is the key to learning, looks like everyone is saying yo & zayum & gah damnit, alright alright. Read carefully & they're all statements, i'm just saying in my opinion, they could be wrong or not but seems like that's whats been going on. So i'm gonna end this, thanks MVA for being a Christian school but having the attitudes of sin. Thanks for the students in MVA for always gossiping, hating, & doing unnecessary shit. Thanks classmates for being the worst & divided class, sure we have spirit, but we aint no team nigga. & thanks Aunoa for saying that in front of my face, & thanks Benji for peeing on my handlebars. Seriously thanks. Success is Revenge.

I have no record, at all, for doing something personally to any of you, tell me & i'll get my ass up and apologize in front of you, shoot, i'll do it in front of the whole school. OH one more thing, below the influence, major turn off. What was this year, druggy year or something? Weed, alcohol, pills, etc. I have more fun watching people do that shit rather than doing the shit. Come on, isnt it funny watching people run into the backyard sliding doors when they're high? or even watching people talk & throw up cause they had one shot to many, OH & watching people kiss an ugly person cause they're damn drunk? Oh shit, the worst thing is, if it's you, i can make fun of you & shit to make you feel guilty or stupid, or get you mad & annoyed. Seriously come on now -.-

Kill all those brain cells, like they matter yea? Maybe that's the reason most of the people i know lost their common sense.

Revenge is sweeter than your ever worth. I'm fucking pissed, i'm sorry but fuck i have to let it out somewhere don't I? I'm sorry but 2 days before 11 months?

Sure go ahead, i could understand the parents part, but how guys won't stop beasting on you, zayum girl, i mean like alright let them get in between so deep into the relationship & let them ruin it, you could of stopped that. Don't get me wrong, it's been like what 6 months already & i still havent forgotten about it,

i lost every single emotion, your not even the same anymore, & what's even more ironic was that i was the more Godly one in the relationship, you enjoy church now like no other, and look at me, i need a revival, my relationship is utterly broken with God. Girl, don't get me wrong, it was a wonderful relationship, it was never stupid, to compare the both of us, YOU were the stupid one for being so indecisive. To be honest, everything i was trying to do, to become, was to gain you back, but looking at it now, i'm just gonna do it for my own personal benefit & to fucking prove the shit out of you wrong, cause my pride is getting in the way & I know i'm right, & how the statement that girls are always right, BULLSHIT! FUCK i'm gonna be that fucking example for proving that shit wrong.

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That felt fucking awesome. Now just to do it in people's fucking faces.

Another nighttime ride on the bike. Can't wait to visit EVHS on Friday.